Inadequate

Man, been losing vision like crazy. Really don't know why, just been really REALLY fuzzy. In fact, like, almost blind fuzzy! It has been leaving me really frustrated about life in general and not being able to do simple tasks around the house. I have had the word "inadequate" stuck in my head for the last four or five days because I have thought about how many things I can't do.

For example, I can't be the type of boyfriend who takes his girlfriend on nice country drives, or any drives for that matter. I can't really work in any field that involves vision (fun careers like aviation, law enforcement, etc - hey, they're exciting!). I can't really see the faces of folks I love and care for. I can't read a book or magazine at the check out counter. I really can't go enjoy a sporting event, play, or movie like most people do. And as I sit here and type out this list, and almost drive myself into a pity-fest....I grow giddy at the thought about Heaven.

Todd asked me once, "Do you get excited about the thought of standing before the Father in Heaven and seeing perfectly?". My answer has always been, "Well, I can't imagine anything else...", meaning, it doesn't bother me. Throughout the last couple of days, however, my thought process has changed on this subject. I am truly giddy at the thought of going to Heaven and being able to see clearly! I can't wait!!!! I long for the day I can see the simplest things like the birds and trees...heck, even the people who love and care about me, those who smile when I say something funny (like I ever do), and even see this text on this computer screen without a screen magnifier. Think of all the things I coudl do better...

Or would they be better? Something I have had to accept today was that in all my IN-adequacies, God comes and fufills those. My flaws and perfected in Him. No matter the circumstance I know that He has reason and purpose in that. I think my vision has kept me from things that society tempts us with.

So, "inadequate" is just a cop-out (is that the right way to spell that?). I am the way my Father created me, for the reason He created me. I need to remember when Satan tempts me with thoughts of being incompetant or inadequate, I have a Father who completes me. And though it's hard, He has a place for me in Heaven where I can roam those streets of gold with perfect sight and just gaze at His splendor! Dang, I am excited!!!!

Strange Times

Been some strange times around here. My brother has officially headed the way of Washington. I thought it might be somewhat of a stress reliever for the family because Nick has been really troubling and causing lots of stress at the house. I am actually really sad he's gone though. It's been really hard on my mom. She's been really mopey and not really aware of how we are walking on pines and needles around her. It's pretty frustrating and sad at the same time.

Heard some interesting news from the church: Michael Dennis is leaving the church to work in (Austin?). That's exciting, pretty neat that he has that opportunitiy. It's sad because it's another spot to fill, however, God has been so faithful in providing a guy to fill our empty Music Pastor position and He has blessed the church with a greatg guy for the job. So, hopefully we will see some great prospects for college pastors.

Drumminghas been nuts lately. I need to start practicing more. Things have not been clicking the way they need to be, and I feel like I am falling behind. I am going to hopefully have some time to practice soon. Going back to Nac will help that.

AS far as recording is going, no tracks done for "Part of Your Story". Was supposed to start building tracks for "You've Changed" (Todd's new song he wrote for graduation - yes, senior graduation). It's really cool, and I hope to have something that will sound good. Try to keep you updated on that process.

Well, hope things get interesting so that I can give you something great to read....

Worshipping another...

Graduation time again....and I remember why I disliked this period of my life. It seems as though pretty much anyone and everyone that has ever come in contact with me had their eyes' on me. Alright, alright....we aren't worshipping the seniors literally - but everything we are doing is somewhat suspicious of that. We hold Senior Sunday church services for pete's sake! Banquets, ceremonies, parties - what are we doing?!?! I have been thinking about this quite a bit today, since I was not a fan of all the adoration when I was a senior. What does this do to our students? Does it add any unecessary stress to their already changing lives'?

Just a tidbit of what I have been thinking about today. I have more, but really, I won't dive into it. Some aspects of the public education system frustrate me, and it has really opened my eyes to the future of my children. I realize, my cousin Tracy is a teacher....however, I said some aspects of the system. She's overworked and underpaid and it's sad that we don't pay more attention to educators who have invested time and effort in to children who have sometimes been deemed "hopeless" and additions to our state's already higher than typical dropout rates.

ANYWAYS!!!! Boring day yet again. I am going to start on a new music project tomorrow...mainly to keep myself busy. I need to start writing again...and I think I need to start being creative to get back in the game. I am going to start coming up with some instrumentals (hopefully) and build from there. Tomorrow is also .5ive. Set looks good..should be a good one.

My brother is ending up possibly getting to graduate. He failed government, like I mentioned, however, the school is allowing him to go and take the class again (in two days) in the means of a few tests and then he can get his diploma and walk. I am happy for him. I will continue to pray for him, because he is dead set on Washington. If that's where he's going, God's going to be there too! It may not be the smartest decision for him, but, in life, it's all about your decisions.

Well, I am off. I am listening to a bunch of new music. Blake stole my thunder about the new Ashley Parker Angel record. Whether he was being serious or not, I am listening to it. I watched the show and thought it was cool how the record came together. Production quality is good, typical pop I think - but not always bad. Also listening to the Amos Lee stuff that I saw on Austin City Limits. Dude is freakin' amazing!!!!

Alright, I am out...

Where's the Wi-Fi?

Been on a hunt for some wi-fi around Lufkin. So, we don't have high-speed internet at the house. We have dial-up. My parent's aren't big fans of the internet, therefore, it's not a priority. Angela and I decided to go to Whataburger and use their internet....but, we always buy something so that it is not as bad as it sounds. So, after searching around, we found out...the one on Timberland has a stronger connection. Also, LaQuinta has wi-fi. Just if you wanted to know...

It's been a slow day. Nothing big. Cleaned the house some, watched some television, and played some video games. Ready to start doing some summer gigs....really missing playing as much. In the next week or so, Todd and Jenkins are going to start tracking some songs ("Part of Your Story", "You Gave Sight", "Glorify", etc). I hopefully will get to lay down some drums here pretty soon. I am hoping the youth band (FUMC's) will pull through and get ready to start laying down some tracks with me here pretty soon. Also, Jonathan is getting booked some - so hopefully that will pan out. Just ready to start playing some, it's getting hard to find opportunities to play.

Well, that's it guys....one thing though....be praying for my brother. He didn't pass his government class, therefore, he doesn't get to graduate. It's tough because he is in this phase where he truly is making loads of wrong decisions and he needs prayer. He's not a believer, so it's difficult for him to see that now. My mom is strssing too, obviously, and I don't know how strong their faith is (sadly), so I hope that they will find peace in the Spirit. Please pray!

My Weekend

Very original title - I know... So, the concert went really well. Wish I had pictures, but, maybe soon you will get to see us play live anyways, so you won't need pictures. Jennifer and Natalie did really well also (as did their band). I will say this: it's different playing for an artist rather than playing for a band. When playing for (backing up an artist), you cannot overstep your creative boundaries - to an extent. I tried to keep as far out of the way as possible, rather than put myself at the forefront. It actually is more difficult than you'd think. But, fun!

Saturday was pretty busy. Had a lot to move around, cleaned up the house a bit, and watched a movie. Angela and I have been watching a lot of scary movies lately. We watched "Saw" the other day and I nearly couldn't sleep that night...yes, I am a woman when it comes to scary movies. Towards the end of the evening, got really sick to my stomach and hoped to wake up to a better day. I have been really congested for about two days.

Woke up feeling like junk. I showered, got dressed, and then just totally decided to not head to Nac. I felt like at any given second the contents of my stomach would be revealed. Ewww! Unlike Blake, I wouldn't have taken a picture though (yup, that would not be good). Hung out around the house all day, took it easy. I am feeling better, have taken some medicine and hopefully will be a lot better by Monday or Tuesday.

Alright, I'm done...

Been Busy

Practiced with Jon on Friday. Went OK, felt like the band wasn't playing our best....I have had a long week, so it doesn't suprise me that I wasn't on. I expect a better practice this afternoon.

Well, my grandmother (my dad's mom), is having some work done on her heart. The plan was to leave this morning and get to Dallas and be with her for a bit and then turn right around....didn't happen. We woke up and decided it was a bit too rainy to travel. They left, I stayed since I have band practice this afternoon. Went to FUMC Lufkin though...service was different. Thought Mark (drummer) was off a bit, not himself. It seemed to affect the overall sound, just a bit, not bad though. They did "I Will Boast' off the new Baloche record, sounded good. That's a tough song! Sermon was not great....not to be a Debbie Downer, but it was not what I was hoping for. Mike is a nice guy though, and I am sure a good guy to work with. One thing I did find impressive, a little girl, maybe about eight....came up to me in the middle of the service and sign me in as a guest on the registration pad. I went up to her mother after the service and told her I thought it was the sweetest thing, and she said it was all her daughters' idea. Very cool! A great statement for the people of that church.

Set up at HHBC after church...pretty cool setup there....may take a pic or two. Later...

Interesting

I don't know if I've ever talked much about Jared Anerson. He is a worship leader from Colorado who is a part of the Desperation confrence. Pretty cool stuff....definately check him out. You may have heard some of his stuff on the radio ("Amazed", "Beauty of the Lord", "Rescue"). Some very good tunes. I like his music for a few reasons...very well written, beautiful instrumentation, great practical arrangements, and he writes songs that can easily be used in worship.

Well, a few weeks ago when the Nashville stuff came about, I stumbled onto his MySpace site. Unlike most artists on MySpace, he actually maintains his own, blog and everything. So, I figured I would drop him a line and see what sort of information and advice he might have. Not expecting much back, I received an email from him last night:

i would say, finish your degree. serve in your church, keep doing what your doing. always play to a click (metronome). study drums like crazy. study music in general (bass lines and patterns, chord theory, basic recording and production). get a simple recording software and dive in. make tracks to songs that already exist. write songs. nobody makes on just one skill. you have to be decent at several things.

always try to play with people that are better than you are. find musicians you respect in your area and become friends. be the best at what you do. invest in people around you. become a great man, not just a great musician. most great musicians that i know are great people aside from their music.

you never want to try and jump into shoes you're not big enough to fill. like proverbs says, it's better to choose a seat at the end of the table and be called up to the seat of honor, than the other way around.

Pretty cool advice...not unlike most of my friends said on here. I find it cool that I am already on that path he mentioned...you know, absorbing and learning more.

So what does this mean....not much. All my friends have said this same thing, but I was impressed that Jared said that same thing, and seemed very eager to help. I have decided I am not going to transfer to Belmont at least until I get a degree at SFA. Why? Because I need to learn more, grow more, be more, before I make a jump into that. I have wanted to improve my songwriting for a while, but maybe it's the perfect time to pick that up, mix up some music theory, and begin writing again. Maybe working with Jonathan and possibly have somebody to write with would help.

I am taking an electronic music class (AGAIN) next semester, and may try to see if I can learn some more theory in there....probably will see if the school offers some more. Also, Graham Tyson from FUMC in Lufkin has been writing a bit and maybe recording some of his stuff will help me grow some more.

I never want to reach a point where I'm not growing though....I want to always know more, and not just about drums, but music and life in general. I am reaching this point where I have decided that to be successful in the music industry, you have to be talented in many areas, and be respected in what you do. I feel I am reaching that....reaching a point where people respect me as a musician, but as a person too. I need to continue to grow msuically, but also spiritually. Go further and deeper into the Word, closer to Christ, learn and grow in Him.

Wow, isn't that cool how it all goes back to the Creator....everything is centered in Him, no matter how big or small...it always goes back to where it came from? I know this, but maybe I am just now opening my eyes to that.


Anways, check out Jared Anderson. Purchase the "From the Rooftops" CD by Desperation. He wrote a good majority of the songs on that record. Pick it up, you won't regret it.

My Life Right Now

Been really busy....not much time to blog. School has been rough, finally done with finals. I have done alright....got a "D" in a class this semester, not pleased with that...but my Political Science class that I thought was not going to be well, I got a 77 in...so that's wonderful!

Moved home, moved in, and settled. Very cool! It is nice to be moved in and very comfortable.

Start practices with Jonathan tomorrow....STINKIN' EXCITED!!!! We'll be playing .5ive and Jonathan has the concert to kick-off his summer tour. I am really pumped, it's going to be a blast.

Also, may have some folks to start recording and mixing a bit this summer. I need to use this ProTools rig....

Have some other stuff to talk about, but will post when I get a few more mintues. Just want to let you know I am alive. Later...

Ok, Ok...

...so the last post wasn't that funny to you guys. Sorry, the fact a dude snaps a picture and tells the story that a guy was relieving himself in the creek is somewhat amusing to me. Why take a picture at all!!!! Enough, enough...

Today was a pretty laid back day. I helped Brad move some stuff into Lufkin and helped him settle in a bit. I am such a good friend....I guess. Angela has a job for the summer! She's working at the Christian Life Center (where we both used to work a few years ago)! It's a good job, great staff, and convient hours. I am hoping to go talk to Mark, her boss, and see if he'll hire me also. Be praying...with all the summer travelling I may be doing with bands, it would be awesome to have a little bit of money to help maintain equipment, help cover travelling, and have some to save for next fall.

Ya know, I wish I had more, but I don't. I go to my last official class day tomorrow...have to take Larry to the vet before that (he's been really sick).

Later...

Tee-Hee, Chuckle-Chuckle

Thought this would brighten someone's day - it did mine!

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